The Hippo(campus) of Horizon Lines and Amygdala
The hippocampus sits at the front of our brains in our foreheads, and aligns with our forethought and vision of the future. On an Atypical episode (Netflix) the main character, a teenager with autism, becomes enamored with puzzles to keep his hippocampus active. He’s planning a trip to Antarctica where people can suffer from a smaller hippocampus size because of the landscape. There is no variety in the land of ice and snow, no horizon line, or the future, so people become dismayed or depressed. Depression can be informed by both our inner and outer environments. We feel there is no horizon line because our inner landscape isn’t varied, or we feel we are doing the same thing over and over without the energy to find something new.
A hippo is a large animal that lives in the water and on land. Aggressive. Ancient. A large and (sometimes) inert form. The hippopotamus in the room is how we are all feeling right now — in this dreary weather between winter and spring — because of the lack of sunlight, the lack of variety from day to night and day to day. There’s no variety in the sky, in our routines, or in our lives. We feel time to be unending, but not in a bountiful way, just in a same-old-same-old way that doesn’t fulfill us, doesn’t bring us joy. Makes us feel just blah.
In times such as these we can move into a sense of lack that can bring depression because we miss the sun. We miss our conscious energy that says everything’s going to be ok — all things are right and true under the sun. Feeling energized by the sun lifts us up and makes a feel intact. It makes our hair shine, our eyes sparkle, and our energy of love and enjoyment comes shining through. When it’s time to go inward in early winter, we find enjoyment being cozy inside, but we can stay over long and we start to feel squeezed. Inside isn’t cozy anymore; it’s stale, boring, and the walls feel like captors, not captivating. It’s a misunderstanding of our own energy. We believe we belong, but we’re lonely at the same time. We want to be with other people, but the weather (and therefore our bodies) say ‘no way!’ and we decide to stay in. Break through by finding the sun - literally and figuratively.
The sun is our consciousness and our desire to be free and live joyfully all the time. Some may think there’s no way we’re meant to be up all the time. Why can’t we be constantly joyful? The yardstick gets pulled out in this situation either as a measure of success or as a form of punishment. You must be responsible, you must go to work, you must do this, that, and the other thing. And yes, we need to be responsible, but can’t it be in joy? Do we have to force ourselves to do the things we don’t want to do?
Our amygdala are tiny structures in our brains that store and release fear, among other things. They live deep within our brains and align with our bodies through the nervous system, which is also connected to our hippocampus. All of our bodies’ systems work together in some form or another to keep us safe, secure, and on beat and rhythm with our own energies. When something is off, our bodies let us know and fear is one way of doing this. Fear is a behavioral response to something in our environment that triggers a memory in our minds.
Memory is tied to the limbic system, which is a powerful fear response regulator. It tells us that we’ve been in this situation before, whether happy, sad, fearful, or indifferent. It is the limbic system that keeps us up at night when we can’t remember something to be true or not. And it is the fear part of the limbic system, or the amygdala, that controls this behavior.
When we think something is fearful, the amygdala are activated and move us into a sense of lack. We shrink away from people, from life, from our own minds as we try to work out how to keep ourselves safe from the ‘enemy.’ It becomes a one-two dance of being on our toes all the time, but not in wish fulfillment. We feel we’re dancing in circles, being swirled around, getting dizzy and we can’t stop. Our wounds start to act up and cause a swirly sensation that can feel uncontrollable. Life becomes a blur as we walk through our days in a haze of discontent. We try to keep people from coming at us and entering our dance spaces. Can we just sidestep them and find our own way of moving?
The answer is yes, you can do that. You have the freedom to do anything you want. It takes forethought sometimes, but you can do it. Plan it out in your head or on a piece of paper and set the intention that you can make changes that belong in the rhythm of your life, of who you are as a person. You can do it if you take the time to ask why. Not ‘why am I like this?’ — although that may get you started. You need to ask, “Why do I need to do what is not making me happy? How can I break free from the constant drum beat that doesn’t give me variety in life, where there is no melody that helps me sing out with joy and wish fulfillment?”
Time is an unending form that moves and buffers, like an internet connection that needs a little extra time to get to the point. Quick as lightning is great for some connections, but others need time to enjoy, to find a different tune that makes sense in our belonging to each other. We belong to each other in love and synchronicity. Syncopated rhythms of behavior are the way of the world — all things natural have this relationship, so we should follow suit and find the behavior that works for us as individuals. Once we know this, we can move out into the collective and find our energies to be perfectly aligned with what is waiting for us right outside our doors.